The Five Reasons Cameron Knew Remy Was Lying
by EvaH2Os
Summary: Thirteen calls in sick, and Cameron calls her out.


1. The first clue that Remy was faking was that House knew. If House suspected something, there was a ninety-eight percent change he was right.

"Go bring our littlest duckling some soup," House had said, while tossing a shiny silver key in the air towards Cameron. Cameron had caught it, and upon inspection realized it was a copy. One that had probably never been used before, meaning it had to be Lucas' copy of Thirteen's key. But, even if that hadn't given it away, Cameron would have known. She'd spent god knows how many hours fingering another copy of the same key inside her pocket. She always found it comforting knowing she had somewhere to go and someone to be with after an annoying day at work.

House had tossed her the key and shooed her out, so Cameron figured she might as well take the excuse to visit her girlfriend. She knew Remy wasn't sick; she'd been fine the night before. And, if she had been getting sick, Cameron was pretty sure that she'd be sick as well.

Although, at that point she couldn't really be sure, so she picked up some tomato basil soup from the cafeteria, and got in her car.

2. The second clue came when Remy answered the door. Cameron knew Remy, she'd seen her sick before, and Remy was no fun when she was sick. Just a few weeks ago, when Remy had the flu, she wouldn't get out of bed except to use the bathroom. She'd lost twelve pounds in five days from puking and being too lazy to get herself anything to eat. Cameron actually had to come over and give her IV fluids, fearing that she'd dehydrate herself into a coma.

If Remy had been sick, she wouldn't have answered the door.

But, there she was, clad in her oversized Sarah Lawrence shirt and black sweatpants frowning at the door as if unhappy that Cameron was standing there. Cameron had handed her the bag containing the soup, which Remy had brought into the kitchen and left on the counter next to the fridge. Cameron had shaken her head and put the soup in the refrigerator before joining Remy on the couch in the living room.

Remy was staring at the television, which was set to the TV guide channel. She aimlessly watched the titles scroll before turning around to look at Allison as if finally realizing she were there.

Cameron knew this was peculiar so she once again wasn't really sure if Remy was faking or not.

"What are you doing here?" Remy finally asked. Her voice was nasal-y and her eyes looked a bit red, but Cameron had seen her at work looking worse. In fact, she'd seen her hung over at work looking worse.

"House sent me to check up on you," Cameron smirked, "He thinks you're sick."

"I am," Remy pouted, turning her attention back to the TV.

3. Just when Cameron was beginning to actually believe that Remy was sick, her third clue came. The doorbell rang, and Cameron wondered if House had sent Foreman and Taub as well.

Remy got up, as if she were expecting someone, and answered the door. Cameron decided to stay on the couch, not quite knowing what was going on.

Remy had appeared a moment later with a box of pizza.

"Are you kidding me?" Cameron had asked, her mouth falling open in shock.

"I was hungry," Remy grumbled, resting farther back into the couch. She opened the box of pizza and then held it out to Allison. She shook her head, and watched in shock as Remy picked up a slice.

"It's ten in the morning," Cameron remarked, leaning over to feel Remy's forehead. Remy smacked her hand away, and leaned further back into the couch. She frowned at Cameron before focusing her attention back towards the box of pizza she had resting on her lap.

"I've got fruit with the tomato sauce and protein and calcium with the cheese. It's all part of a nutritious breakfast." Thirteen smirked, ripping the crust from her pizza and eating it first, "besides, you're the one who yelled at me last time I was sick for not eating."

"I'm not quite sure how sick you are," Cameron smirked back, watching Thirteen devour her first slice of pizza.

Thirteen just shrugged, and went for her second slice.

"Do you normally eat like this when I'm not around?" Cameron asked, wondering if this was regular of the brunette. Remy shrugged, but Cameron hadn't been sure. She had never seen Thirteen eat anything sweeter than yogurt at the hospital, and it seemed like if they ever ordered dessert out it was because they would be splitting it. Then again, she did like Icees at the movie theater, a drink Cameron couldn't stand.

4. The fourth clue came when Remy had finished her pizza. She hadn't actually finished the box, but a good half of it was gone.

Remy had groaned, moved the pizza box from her lap to the table, and layed down on the couch.

"Hey," Cameron had protested, as Remy put her feat on her lap.

"Fine then," Remy whined, "if you get sick don't blame me." Remy, quickly sat up and spun herself around so her head was on Cameron's lap. Cameron couldn't help but to grin, this was definitely the way she preferred it.

"I'm not worried." Cameron ran her hands through Thirteen's hair. Cameron had taken the opportunity to subtly feel Thirteen's forehead. It was hardly warm. She knew the girl was faking, but she liked this side of Thirteen.

"How was your night?" Cameron had tried to be subtle. Wondering if maybe something bad had happened after she had left. Cameron didn't want to spend the night because she knew she'd be late for work, and if they kept coming in late smelling alike he might catch on to the fact that they didn't just happen to use the same shampoo.

"Pretty good," Thirteen smiled, and turned her head slightly so she could look up at the blonde.

"I mean after I left." Cameron smiled back.

"Well, Taub came over, but the sex wasn't that great." Thirteen turned her head back and softly bit down on the fabric of the blonde's jeans.

Cameron yelped, and jumped out from under Thirteen, "very funny."

"Hey, come back," Thirteen pouted. She sat up so the blonde could have room on the couch, "I won't bite again," she smiled, "promise."

"You're like a six year old today," Cameron had stated, sitting down hesitantly. Thirteen returned her head to her girlfriend's lap.

"I'm sick," Remy said for the millionth time, "you can go back to work." Cameron shook her head, it was safe to say that Remy wasn't just in a bad mood, but sick? She still wasn't convinced.

"Ouch," Cameron responded, making a move to get back up. But, Remy brought her arms up around the blonde's waist so she wouldn't be able to stand. Cameron couldn't help but to giggle at her girlfriend's playfulness.

5. The final clue came when Cameron finally asked Remy what was wrong. For a couple with great communication skills, something Thirteen could appreciate after experimenting with Foreman, they sometimes forgot to ask each other key questions.

"Can I kiss it and make it better?" Cameron had asked, bending awkwardly so she could kiss the forehead that rested on her lap.

"You're welcome to try," Thirteen smiled, snuggling into the blonde's stomach.

"What hurts?" Cameron whispered into Remy's ear between kisses around it.

"Everything," Remy whined.

"Uh huh," Cameron rolled her eyes, finding herself falling more into a lying down position between the brunette and the side of the couch so she could kiss farther down her girlfriend's neck.

"My sinus' hurt," Remy defended, "and my stomach."

"Oh, so you have a cold and maybe ate too much pizza, why didn't you say so?" Cameron joked, "poor baby." She kissed down Remy's side until she was at the hip. She briefly considered biting in retaliation, but she had reminded herself that she wouldn't be pulled down to that level, at least not yet.

"Hey," Remy sat up suddenly.

"Fine, I'm sorry. You're sick," Cameron grinned, knowing she had successfully called Remy out. Although, she did enjoy the antics, this playfully lazy side of Remy was one that didn't show often.

"It's a bad cold," Remy defended, "and I'm pmsing," she added in.

"Explains the pizza," Cameron noted, deciding to throw her age to the wind and give Remy's side a small bite.

"Hey, don't bite a girl while she's down," Remy brought her hand down to rub her side.

"I can't believe you called in sick." Cameron laughed.

"Believe it," Remy said, still upset from being bitten. Cameron, taking advantage of the fact that Remy was still sitting up, put her head in the brunette's lap so she could be more comfortable.

"Oh," Remy smiled, letting Allison get situated, "fine then." Remy leaned forward, just enough to let her chest get close to Allison's face as she grabbed for the pizza box. She casually set it down on the blonde's stomach and went back to eating.

"I think I like you like this," Cameron laughed, enjoying the awkward view of Remy's chin biting down on the pizza.

"Well, I just plain like you." Remy said, between bites. Cameron would have responded, but her phone began to buzz. She pulled it from her pocket and checked the ID before accepting the call.

"She's really sick," Cameron said into the phone. From her angle, Cameron could see Remy's cheeks rise into a smile.

"Yeah, I'm going to make sure she's okay. Go ahead without me." Cameron responded into the phone.

"No, I'm not giving her a sponge bath, go catch up on your porn." Cameron hung up.

"No bath?" Remy whined playfully, biting her bottom lip.

"Maybe, if you think it will make you feel better," Cameron responded. She was pleased that she'd been right. Remy was so not sick, but she had decided to keep her clues to herself, and let Remy and House believe that Remy was actually ill. Besides, a day in bed wouldn't kill either of them.


End file.
